Scott’s Thoughts: Handling Haters


“Hatred is never appeased by hatred in this world. By non-hatred alone is hatred appeased. This is a law eternal.”

-Gautama Buddha, ascetic and sage, on whose teachings Buddhism was founded.

Kid full of rageGiven the value of reputation in real estate, many agents can be quite sensitive to feedback they receive from prospects and clients. Though intellectually we know we cannot please everyone, it can still sting emotionally when there’s a negative comment. From a nasty Yelp review to an offhand Facebook rant, we have a tendency to focus hard on our haters.

How should one deal with these experiences?

First and foremost, recognize that one bad review does not a reputation break. Even if the review is justified–hey, it happens–reasonable people will look for patterns, not isolated experiences.

Second, tackle reasonable negativity head-on. If there’s a legitimate gripe, come back with kindness. Put your apology out there and go on the record as wanting to have a follow-up conversation to work things out. Sometimes this will even generate an amended review to mitigate the original negativity.

Third, recognize when a hater is a hater and nothing can be done. We all know there are trolls out there, and we also know that lunacy online is fairly typical. Resist the urge to engage at all when your hater-radar identifies the worst.

Finally, reset your sights on your priorities and the next positive action you can take to pursue what matters to you. Getting mired in the spiral of negativity will not only extend the emotional and psychological effects of harsh criticism, but it can rob you of vital forward motion.

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